- Crying in H Mart | Book Review
- Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner (Review)
- Gara-Gara Baca Crying in H Mart Jadi Pengen Curcol Tipis-Tipis ????
- Crying in H-Mart by Michelle Zauner (Book Review)
- [FULL] Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner – Fiction novel audiobook english
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Crying in H Mart | Book Review
hello its lynn and today im coming at,you with a book review for the memoir,crying in hmart by michelles honor this,was the first memoir i listened to on,audiobook in its entirety for leisure i,had heard many people praise the book,and it accompanied my walks home from,the last week of the,2020-2021 school year side note i am a,middle school teacher and your girl was,stressed out last year well this year,too but last year also anyway this book,came at the utmost opportune time,because this was exactly what i needed,this memoir written in such beautiful,and sometimes painful prose made me,laugh out loud even made me shed some,real tears crying in hmart starts off,with michelles honor the lead singer of,the band japanese breakfast describing,hmart a korean supermarket and the,titles origin as she cries while,remembering her mother browsing these,same aisles that shes also browsing,right now alone,her mother a korean-american immigrant,who had passed away from cancer was,someone that michelle admired butted,heads with and only fully understood,when she became an adult,except it was too late,michelle recounts and celebrates her,mothers life through various vignettes,of the life she spent with her mother,from childhood to her rebellious teenage,years which was filled with angst and,acts of truancy to going off into,college and finding jobs that would,support her music career and even all,the way to her impromptu wedding that,served as an event that her sick mother,could look forward to,with the hope that the cancer,will stay away,michelle doesnt shy away from talking,about grief,mourning and jealousy while also,celebrating her mothers life as the,cancer brutally attacked her body what i,really enjoyed about the memoir was,michelle zonners writing voice it is,clear and concise flowery and,descriptive yet real and raw and honest,she uses korean food music and even,skincare routines to remember describe,and reclaim her relationship with her,mother,additionally his honor doesnt veer away,from the pain of seeing someone you love,and cherish suffer an incurable disease,and eventually perish,what really got me hooked was the first,half of the memoir where michelle talks,about her early life with her mother and,the gradual passing of time until she,first found out about her mothers,cancer diagnosis,i fear that if i share more details,about the memoir that it will lose its,essence so i highly recommend that you,check it out for yourself overall i give,this book 4 out of 5 stars and,truthfully its kind of difficult for me,to be critical about this book that is,so especially dear and close to the,authors heart but the only reason why i,knocked down one star is because it did,not have the full circle ending that,most stories real or otherwise have,but as michelle mentioned while laying,with her mother at her deathbed,sometimes things just end,no famous last words no big goodbyes,just,an ending with all of that said this is,the highest rating ive ever given a,book in a really long time so that,really does say something since im a,pretty harsh critic,generally i thoroughly enjoyed reading,this memoir and i highly appreciated the,tears that were streaming down my face,as i listened to the audiobook while,also recalling the way that my mother,would take care of me,as michelles mom had done for her and,so with that said i want to know have,you read crying in hmart if so what did,you think about it let me know in the,comments down below id love to know,your thoughts and as always thank you so,much for watching you are awesome stay,awesome and i will see you in my next,video goodbye
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner (Review)
i found out about michelle on twitter,through somebody i follow who i really,adore,and respect their music taste and i,quickly listened to,psychopomp and soft sounds from another,planet her first two albums,and i quickly ordered jubilee,her third and latest studio album,and im not here to talk about music but,i have to bring this up,later anyway when i found out that she,was basically accompanying,this third album jubilee with a book,called crying in h mart i was very,interested,especially because this is a non-fiction,and i was getting into non-fiction,recently,i thought this book was going to be,about her being korean,growing up in an oregon small town,filled with,just these white kids who judge anybody,who does not look like them,but i quickly found out within the first,few pages that this is,not entirely that story this is a story,about grief,about death about cancer about coping,about,culture about cooking this book is,loaded with a lot of,themes and ideas just for like 239 pages,this book hit me on a lot of ways,and i learned a lot about her and just,thinking about it like i dont know if,you could tell but im getting,like goosebumps um i lost my mother when,i was 12.,so a little bit too early to entirely,relate to what michelle,mentions in this book but um she,mentions growing up,korean in a small oregon town,wanting to be like everyone else else,sometimes denouncing her,korean heritage her korean mother,denouncing the way her mother raised her,very like strict and very structured,childhood,very like clean and safe in her teenage,years she,became a rebel like many teenagers do,like many teenagers do in a small town,and you see that their relationship,became fractured,and she tries to uh as she gets,older appreciate her mother you see that,as her mother,gets diagnosed with a cancerous tumor,that um,michelle is trying to make amends with,her mother trying to indulge in her,korean culture,indulge in her korean side and,you know share dishes and stories and,laugh,and it quickly gets into this,very very sad dark very realistic,about 120 page 100 page,story about this family trying,everything they can do to bring her,mother through to the other side to heal,from her cancer,and ill be honest with you i was,reading this on,a plane and there were some times i got,really choked up,and there was one line in particular,where my eyes started watering and,tingling,i dont really cry from many songs or,movies um but this one really almost got,me i,almost had tears dripping down my face,its just hits hard um she also,describes how,when unfortunately her mother does pass,she tries to communicate with,her korean family members uh she doesnt,speak korean,so its very hard for her when she does,not have a translator,to bond with these people with whom she,is blood,but thats she doesnt have a way of,even talking to them,which im half puerto rican uh i got,that from my mothers side,so whenever i visit my abuela my,mothers mother,i cant speak to her like i cant have a,fluid,nice conversation with my own,grandmother which does really,upset me and make me sad and i know i i,could try my hardest to learn spanish,but i just its its very very hard,being in this age and im sure she feels,the same way like,she knows some words but to learn korean,at her age,when she lost her mother you know like,25 26 like its just very hard,so when she was describing you know loss,of a mother,um feeling this weird connection slash,disconnection from your own family,members,and from your own culture that hit me so,hard,especially in my old neighborhood back,in new york,um i would stay inside a lot so like i,didnt really have this like kind of,like glow to my skin,now that i live in florida i used to be,very pale and a lot of people would just,say that im italian im white and,thats it and,you know being a dumb teenager i didnt,really care much like michelle didnt,really care about her korean heritage,but as i get older it kind of pissed me,off because thats not who i am like i,am,i am puerto rican and i do have that in,my blood in my veins and my culture and,the food that i enjoy,this book goes into very very deep,detail,on just loss on grief on familial,issues and it was such a good read such,a sad read such a,real read that i think almost anyone can,relate to,or get something out of and like,i loved her art before this book but now,i just love it even more,it makes so much more sense why her,first two albums were a little bit like,dreamy and dreary and a little sad and,on her latest album,jubilee she has like two songs that i,could think of at the top of my head,uh b sweet and in hell that come off,like very poppy,very peppy and she even said like she,wanted this album to be happier to be,more cheerful,but whats funny is she still has like,those somber songs,so this album almost feels like shes,trying to break out of this grief,finally make happy art but every now and,then she gets pulled back into this,depression this sadness,and after reading this you could totally,see why,and honestly this combo right here,jubilee and crying in hmr have cemented,michelle,japanese breakfast as one of my favorite,current artists i think shes,a really wonderful person i mean,obviously i dont know her but,i think she makes very wonderful art,very human art,very beautiful art and i hope that if,she has not healed yet,uh if healing is possible from something,like this,i hope shes on her way to that or has,already gotten there because,uh i know from my own experiences,i dont know i dont know if ill ever,be healed,but um i feel like i am healing slowly,but surely and i hope,she is feeling the same this is a,beautiful book i would give this easily,a nine out of ten,um and i love this so much but do not,do not do not do not go in expecting,this uh in-depth background story on how,shes a breakout in the music artist,because its,not about the music its about her as a,human being its about culture,its about food its about grief and,this book was absolutely amazing,and such a good read,thank you guys for watching
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Gara-Gara Baca Crying in H Mart Jadi Pengen Curcol Tipis-Tipis ????
Hai aku juga sama sekali nggak nyangka,bakal bisa seri lihat itu sama buku ini,Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi,wabarakatuh heya it Hari ini aku pengen,cerita ke kalian tentang salah satu buku,terbaik yang aku baca di tahun ini,judulnya adalah crying in each,tulisannya Michele jauh jujurnya sebelum,baca buku ini aku juga sama sekali,enggak tahu menahu siapa sosok Mizone,ini cuman aku memang sering denger judul,buku ini disebut-sebut sama Kak Sri,Izzati kalau enggak distorsinya ketika,dia live atau ketika dikelas menulisnya,ini adalah memori seorang Korean,American yang menceritakan proses,berdukanya sepeninggal ibunya wafat udah,itu doang yang aku tahu dan aku juga,sama sekali nggak nyangka bakal bisa,seri LED itu sama buku ini ketika,bukunya dateng barulah Aku kemudian cari,tahu review-review orang-orang aku baru,tahu bahwa ibunya si michelszoon ini,meninggalnya tuh gara-gara kanker itu,aja aku langsung the pa-pa sini bakalan,bener-bener jadi buku yang sedih banget,kalau kayak gitu jadi buku ini bercerita,tentang apa sih buku ini bercerita,tentang,hubungan Michelle dengan ibunya gimana,dia tumbuh sebagai seorang mix race Jadi,Ibunya ini orang Korea dan ayahnya orang,Amerika gimana dia hidup dan menjalani,hari-harinya yang selain Dia di Amerika,dipandang aneh oleh teman-temannya kayak,ditanyain Kamu orang mana sih kamu bukan,orang Amerika Kamu orang mana orang Cina,orang Jepang,tapi begitu dia mudik ke Korea bareng,ibunya di sana orang-orang Korea pun,bilang kamu bukan orang Korea kamu ini,orang Amerika kayak gitu Sebetulnya,dalam hatinya dia juga mengalami,pergulatan batin tersendiri tentang,identitasnya dan keluarga mereka itu,tinggal di Amerika,Meskipun begitu Ibunya tetap memastikan,gimana supaya Michelle ini enggak,kehilangan akarnya sebagai keturunan,Korea yang kebanyakan cara ibunya,memperkenalkan dunia Korea pada Michelle,itu melalui makanan sampai-sampai misal,bilang food How was my mother Express,her love jadi kayak love language ibunya,tuh makanan gitu dance part b c ini aku,tuh seketika langsung keinget almarhum,nenekku Iya mungkin Kalian juga bisa,lelet ya Gimana kalau kita main ke rumah,nenek itu kita selalu dijejali dengan,Wow kanan kayak meskipun kita ke sananya,udah mapan disuruh makan lagi dibikinin,masakan kesukaan kita yang itulah,dibikinnya banyak banget kayak,seolah-olah,Hai selama di sana gila enggak boleh,berhenti ngunyah gitu sebagaimana,hubungan seorang ibu dengan anak,perempuan pada umumnya hubungan Michelle,dan ibunya tuh juga rumit apalagi ketika,Michelle beranjak dewasa ketika dia,dalam masa-masa apa ya peralihan menuju,dewasa atau remaja Mungkin orang sering,bilang dia mulai jadi remaja yang,memberontak dia mulai mempertanyakan,kenapa sih aku nggak boleh begini dan,begitu Kenapa Ibu tuh selalu ngomongin,aku kayak gini dan dia mulai berani,menentang apa mau Ibunya dan yah mereka,sering bertengkar lah lalu tiba-tiba,saja ketika dia umur 25 tahun jadi,kabarin bahwa ibunya didiagnosa kena,kanker Kanker pankreas lebih tepatnya,sedih banget enggak sih momen dimana,Kamu baru menyadari bahwa kamu butuh,memperbaiki hubungan dengan ibumu,ternyata datangnya ketika ibu kamu,sedang sakit keras gitu,bisa merawatnya dia akhirnya bisa,melihat dunia dari sudut pandang ibunya,dia mulai paham Kenapa Ibunya itu Dulu,sering mewanti-wanti sesuatu gitu,misalnya dengan ibunya yang jatuh sakit,dunia Michelle kemudian berubah kayak,berbalik 180° yang dulunya dia dirawat,ibunya sekarang dia harus merawat Ibunya,dan dia mengungkapkan segala hal yang,dia rasakan selalu merawat ibunya gimana,dia merasa enggak berdaya dia merasa,enggak tahu apa-apa semua itu misal,Ceritakan secara apa adanya kesedihannya,itu enggak di glorifikasi meskipun kayak,80% atau 90% buku ini tuh sedih tapi,sedihnya tuh sedih yang ya sedih-sedih,yang bikin kamu hanyut dalam ceritanya,gitu bukan sedih yang lebay atau gimana,dan aku selalu sih betapa dia itu sangat,berani membagikan Sisi paling Vulnerable,dalam dirinya pada kita meskipun ketika,aja kita akan menyadari bahwa,sesungguhnya yang misal tulis ini bukan,dalam rangka pengen cerita sama kita,tapi dia kayak menulis untuk dirinya,sendiri sebagai coping mechanism nya dia,dalam berduka gitu rasanya sangat,personal banget apalagi kemarin waktu,aku baca itu aku Celine juga sambil aku,dengerin audiobook nya yang di bajakan,juga sama Michelle sendiri jadi kayak,terasa makin nyata makin deket rasanya,tuh kayak kenalan sama seseorang yang,baru tapi ketika kita udah mulai,mengobrol kok rasanya Kayak udah kenal,lama ya selagi dia cerita kita tuh bisa,merasakan,apa yang dirasakan gitu kita bisa,ngerasain gimana sakitnya dia gimana,sedihnya dia gimana bahagianya dia gitu,mungkin bagi sebagian orang bakalan,ngerasa apa yang Michelle ceritakan ini,bertele-tele kayak lompat ke mana-mana,atau bahkan muter-muter nggak jelas,juntrungannya apa tapi sebagai seseorang,yang sedikit banyak mengalami apa yang,misal alami juga ya sesungguhnya itulah,yang memang kita pikirkan kita rasakan,gitu aku banyak bisa relate dengan apa,yang misal ungkapkan di buku ini kayak,gimana Kagok nya ketika kita lagi di IGD,terus harus mendatangkan in surat konsen,Untuk perawatan orang tua kita gimana,pandangan kita terhadap dunia itu,berubah ketika orangtua kita,mengalami sakit kronis gimana rumah,sakit itu jadi punya makna yang berbeda,bacanya tuh bikin aku ngerasa terhubung,secara personal sama Michelle dan bikin,aku ngerasa Iya aku nggak sendirian,menghadapi Ini semua karena buku ini,banyak menceritakan tentang gimana dia,bisa terhubung dengan Ibunya dan Korea,melalui makanan jadi aku saranin selain,call nyiapin tisu sebaiknya nyediain,makanan juga atau etlis kalian harus,punya efs Pesan Antar makanan yang,saldonya itu cukup buat kalian mesen,gitu karena cara Michelle,mendeskripsikan Makanan itu sangat,mengagumkan bikin kita kebayang rasanya,kebayang tampilannya kayak seolah-olah,makan itu sedang terhidang di depan kita,ya itu jelas-jelas bikin kita bakal,keroncongan aku nyesel sih sebenarnya,Kenapa ya aku beli buku ini tuh nggak,sekalian hot cover aja kemarin karena,ternyata ketika kubaca aku sulit,naruhnya kayak pengen lanjut terus dan,akhirnya aku bawa kemana-mana sampai aku,boleh tidur jadinya rada lecek udah,tampilannya rada kelipet dan ya padahal,aku masih pengen baca lagi menurutku,buku ini bakal rylett sama kalian yang,sedang berduka baru saja ditinggal oleh,orang yang kalian sayangi atau mungkin,loh kalian seorang vertagear sedang,merawat orangtua atau keluarga yang,sakit buku ini bakal bikin kalian,ngerasa punya temen yang,frekuensi kalau misalnya Kalian sedang,menjalani apa yang Michelle lalui aku,ada beberapa rekomendasi buku yang bisa,kalian baca selanjutnya pertama ini,memori juga judulnya adalah bendraf,fiqars er ini memori yang ditulis,sendiri oleh pasiennya gitu kalau misal,joner Kan dari sisi karet akarnya ya,kalau ini ditulis sendiri sama pasiennya,Paul kalian Iti Dia seorang,neurosurgeons kayak ahli bedah syaraf,gitu yang dia divonis kena kanker,paru-paru Padahal dia nggak pernah,ngerokok sebelumnya jadi itu pengalaman,yang sangat bikin patah hati kayak dia,Biasanya jadi dokter yang merawat orang,sakit sekarang dia yang harus nurut sama,temennya gitu waktu itu buku ini kubaca,ketika aku penasaran Apa sih yang,dirasakan hai seseorang yang punya,kanker gitu karena kalau orang tua kita,sakit tuh biasanya Mereka cenderung,jarang cerita gitu enggak sih Jadi kalau,kalian penasaran juga kayak aku gini,akan ngasih jawabannya terus buku yang,kedua judulnya Maybe This will help,tulisannya Michele real ini termasuk,buku non fiksi terbaik yang aku baca di,tahun lalu Karena menurut aku dia,mirip-mirip kaya keinginan Smart cuman,dia lebih tipis gitu dia menceritakan,gimana seorang Michelle ini sosok,Michelle yeoh nonya Dia sedang sakit,juga dan disaat yang bersamaan dia harus,menjadi caretaker untuk ayahnya yang,sedang sakit kronis jadi double ya dari,sisi dia sebagai pasien dan dari sisi,dia sebagai caretaker,dan dia ceritanya pakai essay pendek,enggak kay
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Crying in H-Mart by Michelle Zauner (Book Review)
hello,im here to talk about another book,this is the first time i started and,finished a book um in the same i started,in the same weekend i started it,yesterday and i finished it today i,listened to it as an audiobook and im,like wow it actually happened i finished,within the weekend because i have been,struggling to read up ive been having a,reading slump for at least i want to say,why did i start it again um at least two,to three months but this is the book i,read um crying in hmart by michelle,zonner i think thats how you say it,thats how she said it in the book so i,hope i havent said it out wrong um but,crying in hmart ive seen this book pop,up in peoples stories for the longest,time on instagram i follow quite a few,not quite if you actually follow a,couple,follow a couple of booktubers um,bookstore grammars i follow a lot more,bookish youtubers than instagram on,instagram but um i saw that there and,ive seen a couple of people talk about,it on youtube so i was like it intrigued,me but i didnt know that it was a,memoir let me close my window um i got,into it and i initially thought this,would be like um fiction i didnt think,it would be memoir i think it was a,fiction i was looking for but its okay,because it was quite easy to get through,i mean despite it being a very,heartbreaking story should the narrator,did a very good job of keeping the mood,kind of hopeful and something that like,i knew that she wanted to kind of,portray that,life moves on but its also okay to stop,and,take your moment before you decide that,its moving on so this is a,korean-american author who has lived in,america her entire life but her mom is,from korea and shes visited korea at,different points in her life,and she basically describes her journey,from like her childhood and growing up,as a korean american in america,her identity and all of the things that,you can possibly think of when it comes,to being a person of minority at that,point in time like nowadays people are,very vocal but back then she kind of,felt very,lost and you know in terms of like where,am i why do i look different from,everyone a lot of those things that i,feel like many people go through and,they do have to live away from their own,communities in a different country and,shes also mixed so its not like a,korean person in america she has like,two parts of her identity but this book,is mainly about her connection to korea,because her mom she finds out that she,has cancer and this is her perspective,and her experience of,going through,all of this with her mother someone who,has this way of showing love that is so,unique and so different to what shes,used to so a lot of it that she,describes a lot of feelings a lot of,emotions is portrayed in the form of,korean food and the korean cuisine and a,lot of the times that her mom would show,love by like these little additions to,her meal and the way she would prepare,the different things and it was just,described so wonderfully,the smells and the association and also,her memories of her mother around,different food events like what she used,to order which she used to always like,prefer on different occasions and like,her specific food habits and those are,the memories that i guess came to her,first when she experienced this with her,mom but also the moments where she,missed her mom the most because it was,those little food events that i were,like oh my gosh she used to do it like,that or oh my god i never learned to,make this from her or even when she was,caring for her mom at the time when she,was going through cancer,the things that she wish she could,prepare for her in order to make her,feel more at home and also she kind of,experienced and after her mom passes,away she spends some time with her aunt,in korea who doesnt speak a lot of,english and she doesnt speak a lot of,korean so theyre like trying to,communicate and a lot of the,communication does happen over sharing,food and i think me growing up in assam,growing up in india food is such a huge,part of our community and our culture,and the way we show love that we use for,affection its like when you show your,food its a,act of kindness but also just some,people dont know how to show you that,they like you but youre both eating,from the same plate,like england was a huge culture shock,for a lot of things but mainly the main,thing is that people order food for them,themselves and they eat that they dont,really share in a restaurant its not,like oh lets order two three things and,well all eat like from everything right,thats not a thing people do people,order for themselves and that is like so,weird to me,till today by the way i go to,restaurants no matter what cuisine it is,and ill order like two or three things,with someone and we like share,everything because thats how its meant,to be done share it out food okay i just,dont understand this individualistic,mindset about like food because whats,the whats the joy in eating food if,only you are experiencing it the whole,point is to share and go,anyways um so i could definitely,understand what she meant i could relate,to it at many levels i thought it was a,very beautifully written book having,said that i do think its a narration,that made it nice to go through i dont,know if i would have found it i dont i,cannot say this without sounding like an,absolute but like interesting,because the way it was written at parts,i was really gripped but i feel like,maybe there could have been more,internal monologues for different parts,um also like it kept going to and for a,couple of things obviously,there is no need for embellishments when,it is a memoir to memoir if you connect,with it you cannot if you dont you,dont there is no,come why am i even commenting on how,this could be better but its just im,here to review the book so im telling,you in my honest opinion it was a,beautifully written story about you know,a daughter and her experience of going,through cancer with her mom could the,writing have been more intriguing,maybe perhaps yes but it was that the,point probably not i do think that the,way she shared the story was very,authentic it was very relatable in the,sense that she didnt try to over,um,kind of glamorize anything or under play,anything she kind of said it as it is,and it also kept becoming obvious that,the way she grew up are the,circumstances or the way she was cared,for has a lot to do with how she felt at,different stages of her life and she,shared that part really beautifully,unlike how guilty you feel about certain,things how you react to certain things,how you feel discern about certain,things and at no point did i feel kind,of oh,maybe im not a good person because i,dont feel like that i think she did a,good way of doing like balancing it out,with like the amount of feelings and the,amount of times that she didnt feel,actually all that much about certain,thing i think there was also a lot of um,parts about her dad that was very,beautifully written very raw and very,sad i think it was actually sadder when,she talked about her dad as opposed to,her mom because there was something that,i feel like she was grieving,him while he was still alive,whereas and,her mom she couldnt believe she was,gone so i think that is a very difficult,position to be in,and still she did such a wonderful job,in portraying that on paper and actually,sharing it with the world which i think,takes such,a tremendous amount of,kind of courage and also,to a certain level to just say this is,how it is and as much as people find it,difficult to share that raw part of,themselves sometimes you should because,talking about it helps other people know,that youre not alone in whatever youre,going through so its really nice it i,really personally did enjoy it by the,way how beautiful is she like im gonna,put up,oh i cant,gorgeous,gorgeous girl i almost like she looks so,cute by the same time same time she has,such artistic photos i was reading this,blog article on her,um,and i sa
[FULL] Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner – Fiction novel audiobook english
hi everyone,welcome to my channel i hope you all,have a great time,and now please listen to our story,1.,crying in h mart,ever since my mom died i cry in h mart,h mart is a supermarket chain that,specializes in asian food,the h stands for hannah raym a korean,phrase that roughly translates to one,arm full of groceries,h mart is where parachute kids flock to,find the brand of instant noodles that,reminds them of home,its where korean families buy rice,cakes to make teacup the beef and rice,cake soup that brings in the new year,its the only place where you can find a,giant vat of peeled garlic because its,the only place that truly understands,how much garlic youll need for the kind,of food your people eat,hmat is freedom from the single isle,ethnic section in regular grocery stores,they dont prop goya beans next to,bottles of sriracha here,instead youll likely find me crying by,the banchan refrigerators remembering,the taste of my moms soy sauce eggs and,cold radish soup,or in the freezer section holding a,stack of dumpling skins thinking of all,the hours that mom and i spent at the,kitchen table folding minced pork and,chives into the thin dough,sobbing near the dry goods asking myself,am i even korean anymore if theres no,one left to call and ask which brand of,seaweed we used to buy,growing up in america with a caucasian,father and a korean mother i relied on,my mom for access to our korean heritage,while she never actually taught me how,to cook korean people tend to disavow,measurements and supply only cryptic,instructions along the lines of add,sesame oil until it tastes like moms,she did raise me with a distinctly,korean appetite,this meant a reverence for good food and,a predisposition to emotional eating,we were particular about everything kim,kai had to be perfectly sour sand up so,perfectly crisped stews had to be piping,hot or they might as well have been,inedible,the concept of prepping meals for the,week was a ludicrous affront to our,lifestyle,we chased our cravings daily,if we wanted the kim kimchi stew for,three weeks straight we relished it,until a new craving emerged,we ate in accordance with the seasons,and holidays,when spring arrived and the weather,turned wed bring our camp stove,outdoors and fry up strips of fresh pork,belly on the deck,on my birthday we ate miyoku a hearty,seaweed soup full of nutrients that,women are encouraged to eat postpartum,and that koreans traditionally eat on,their birthdays to celebrate their,mothers,food was how my mother expressed her,love,no matter how critical or cruel she,could seem constantly pushing me to meet,her intractable expectations i could,always feel her affection radiating from,the lunches she packed and the meals she,prepared for me just the way i like them,i can hardly speak korean but in h mart,it feels like im fluent,i fondle the produce and say the words,allowed chamo melon done fuji,i fill my shopping cart with every snack,that has glossy packaging decorated with,a familiar cartoon,i think about the time mom showed me how,to fold the little plastic card that,came inside bags of jolly pong how to,use it as a spoon to shovel caramel,puffed rice into my mouth and how it,inevitably fell down my shirt and spread,all over the car,i remember the snacks mom told me she,ate when she was a kid and how i tried,to imagine her at my age,i wanted to like all the things she did,to embody her completely,my grief comes in waves and is usually,triggered by something arbitrary,i can tell you with a straight face what,it was like watching my moms hair fall,out in the bathtub or about the five,weeks i spent sleeping in hospitals but,catch me at h mark when some kid runs up,double fisting plastic sleeves of pyongy,and ill just lose it,those little rice cake frisbees were my,childhood a happier time when mom was,there and would crunch away on the,styrofoam like disks after school,splitting them like packing peanuts that,dissolve like sugar on our tongues,ill cry when i see a korean grandmother,eating seafood noodles in the food court,discarding shrimp heads and muscle,shells onto the lid of her daughters,tin rice bowl,her gray hair frizzy cheekbones,protruding like the tops of two peaches,tattooed eyebrows rusting as the ink,fades out,ill wonder what my mom would have,looked like in her seventies if shed,have wound up with the same pam that,every korean grandma gets as though it,were a part of our races evolution,ill imagine our arms linked her small,frame leaning against mine as we take,the escalator up to the food court the,two of us in all black new york style,shed say her image of new york still,rooted in the era of breakfast at,tiffanys,she would carry the quilted leather,chanel purse that shed wanted her whole,life instead of the fake ones that she,bought on the back streets of a taiwan,her hands and face would be slightly,sticky from qvc,anti-aging creams,shed wear some strange high-top sneaker,wedges that i disagree with,michelle in korea every celebrity wears,this one,shed pluck the lint off my coat and,pick on me how my shoulders slumped how,i needed new shoes how i should really,start using that argonal treatment she,bought me but wed be together,if im being honest theres a lot of,anger,im angry at this old korean woman i,dont know that she gets to live and my,mother does not like somehow this,strangest survival is at all related to,my loss,that someone my mothers age could still,have a mother,why is she here slapping up spicy jam,noodles and my mom isnt,other people must feel this way,life is unfair and sometimes it helps to,irrationally blame someone for it,sometimes my grief feels as though ive,been left alone in a room with no doors,every time i remember that my mother is,dead it feels like im colliding with a,wall that wont give theres no escape,just a hard surface that i keep ramming,into over and over a reminder of the,immutable reality that i will never see,her again,hmats are usually situated on the,outskirts of the city and serve as a,secondary center for strip malls of,asian storefronts and restaurants that,are always better than the ones found,closer to town,were talking korean restaurants that,pack the table so full of bench and side,dishes that youre forced to play a,never-ending game of horizontal genga,with 12 tiny plates of stir-fried,anchovies stuffed cucumbers and pickled,everything,this isnt like the sad asian fusion,joint by your work where they serve bell,peppers in their bibimbap and give you,the stink eye when you ask for another,round of wilted bin sprouts,this is the real deal,youll know that youre headed the right,way because there will be signs to mark,your path,as you go farther into your pilgrimage,the lettering on the awning slowly,begins to turn into symbols that you may,or may not be able to read,this is when my elementary grade korean,skills are put to the test how fast can,i sound out the vowels in traffic,i spent more than six years going to,hungal hakio every friday and this is,all i have to show for it,i can read the signs for churches for an,optimistrists office a bank,a couple more blocks in and were in the,heart of it,suddenly its another country,everyone is asian a swarm of different,dialects crisscross like invisible,telephone wires the only english words,are hot pot and liquors and theyre all,buried beneath an assortment of glyphs,and graphemes with an anime tiger or a,hot dog dancing next to them,inside an h mart complex there will be,some kind of food court an appliance,shop and a pharmacy,usually theres a beauty counter where,you can buy korean makeup and skin care,products with snail museum or caviar oil,or a face mask that vaguely boasts,placenta,whos placenta,who knows,there will usually be a pseudo-french,bakery with wheat coffee bubble tea and,an array of glowing pastries that always,look much better than they taste,my local h mart these days is in elkins,park a town northeast of philadelphia,my routine is to drive in for lunch on,the weeke
Michelle Zauner – Paying Homage to Her Korean Heritage & Processing Her Mom’s Death | The Daily Show
michelle zana welcome to the daily,social distancing show,thank you for having me um lets start,off with one of the biggest conundrums,ive found while trying to do research,on you and that is,in your bio on twitter you say you are,korean you say this everywhere you go,and yet and yet your stage name is,japanese and id love to know,like the creative inspiration behind how,you chose your your name as a performer,on stage,sure its unfortunately not a very,interesting,story i started the band as a side,project,in 2012 or 2013,with no idea that it would grow into,what it is now,or that i would ever be talking about my,korean identity so much,and i just saw a picture of japanese,breakfast on the internet and thought,that sounds nice and so,breakfast and uh yeah its unfortunately,not not the most fitting name especially,now that ive written a book thats so,much about korean food,you know youve gone from being a,darling in the music scene to now being,so many peoples favorite writer youre,now a new york times,best-selling author congratulations on,that um i think your book,was number two on the new york times,bestseller list right behind,george w bush and i think your response,to that was my favorite you said,damn george w bush in his paintings but,but yet talk to me about why you thought,you know what im going to write a book,about my life im going to write a book,about proudly korean and,being proudly korean and my family and i,think this will resonate with everyone,i didnt think much about it resonating,with anyone to be honest,it came from such a personal place with,such a sense of urgency i think to,sort of bear the wounds of of caretaking,and losing someone to illness,and this very unique experience that i,went through which was learning how to,cook korean dishes as a way to,commemorate my mother,and a way to move past trauma,and preserve my cultural heritage,yeah the title in and of itself is is,beautiful its crying in hmat,and i love how throughout the book it,really is an homage,to your korean heritage and to hmod,itself,why why did you feel like you know what,this is what this is the title of the,book because titles i feel,always hold so much meaning beyond just,what were reading on the on the cover,yeah hwart just became a real refuge for,me after my mother passed away,after going to eugene oregon and living,as a carrot taker and,watching my mothers health deteriorate,i really,had a difficult time remembering my,mother before she was sick,and that was so heartbreaking to me and,it wasnt until i went to hmart,and i found like a can of sweet red,beans that i had this beautiful memory,of my mom and i,in seoul every other summer enjoying,paping zoo which is like this korean,shaved ice dessert and i just became,addicted to sort of searching for that,feeling um such an important way of,navigating,my grief and yeah i just cried a lot in,h-barn,and it was a very healing experience for,me,when you were writing this you have to,relive a lot of it,was that a therapy for you or did that,just reignite a lot of those traumas and,that pain that you had previously,experienced,i think it was both you know i think as,an artist there is this desire,to poke at the wound in this way but,that sort of,the nick cave calls it the pact that you,make with love grief is the pact that,you make with love and,um i feel like it was really necessary,for me to,look back at that part of my life and,analyze it and understand it and,investigate it and,it was ultimately really healing for me,i think i made it a little bit easier,for myself by sort of wading,in through these more pleasant memories,of my childhood and what made my,relationship with my mother so,interesting but there was also this part,of the book that,i just i felt so upset that i had never,read something like this that would have,warned me,that this is what illness looks like and,i feel,this real need to tell everyone and warn,everyone that this is,this is what living close to death looks,like,did you find writing the book helped you,forgive your mom for,for some of the issues that the two of,you went through absolutely,i think that even more so i was able to,forgive,myself for what i put my mom through in,my adolescent years,i think that i think that everyone a lot,of people can relate to that sort of,tumultuous adolescence and that struggle,for independence and especially,as a young creative trying to find my,voice that was a major point of,contention between my mother and i,and so i feel like through writing this,book i found you know not only a lot of,forgiveness for the way that she,felt this need to sort of protect me,from this lifestyle and this,financial risk and struggle of that but,i also was able to,forgive myself for what i put her,through and in the end i found,a lot of success as a creative on my own,terms in this way that she never got to,saw so,never got to see so i feel like i was,able to,uh forgive myself for that in a way as,well,you you also had to find your love for,being korean again and you you share,that so beautifully in the book,you know growing up in a community that,was predominantly white you share,candidly how,you wanted to discard all parts of,yourself that could be seen as not white,what was it like and and and how would,you talk to other young kids in your,position who go,i just i just want to be one of the kids,i dont want to be korean i i just want,to fit in i dont want to be asian at,all,how did you rediscover your joy and your,celebration of yourself and your,heritage,to be honest i dont feel like i was,able to find,that until after my mom passed away and,its my hope that a lot of this sort of,younger generation is,um already kind of learning how to,celebrate their differences,and a big part of that is the online,community and and how,were able to share these sort of,experiences uh whereas when i was,younger it felt so isolating and like,something to shirk so,yeah i can imagine like unfortunately i,just sort of came into it sort of,later um and i guess my advice would be,you know,i hope that people are able to be proud,of,of their background before they sort of,come into it a little bit too late you,know because i,was im sure such a pain for my mom to,witness me,sort of uh trying to shrink off that,part of my identity for quite some time,you um you are still in music you are,still an artist,um you know youre going to continue,your journey in that realm the world is,going to open up again youre going to,go back out on tour,do you think that anything youve,written in the book will now affect what,kind of music you would like to make or,how you would,write your music is have you found,anything bleeding in from one,medium to the other definitely theyre,really in conversation with one another,and i feel like after writing,my first two records which were largely,about grief and loss and then,an entire book about that experience i,felt really ready to sort of,start this new chapter and run to the,other spectrum of human experience so,the new,album which comes out on june 4th is,called jubilee and its about joy,and um i feel like through the process,of writing all this material i was sort,of giving myself permission to really,embrace that and feel that and,fight for it in my life and thats what,the new album is about,i love it i feel like its going to be,the complete journey we get to cry with,you in hmod,and then in june we get to experience,some jubilee,thank you so much for joining me on the,show and congratulations on writing a,truly,astounding book thank you so much for,having me,you
Let’s TACO-bout some books I read (all new 2021 releases) ???? COOK & BOOK: Beef & Poblano Tacos
Oh my god, I spilled all the pepper in the pan!,[intro music],Welcome to Cook & Book, where I cook very badly while I talk about books.,As always, Ill be doing a giveaway for five brand new hardcover books,,because this video is sponsored by Book of the Month.,Book of the Month is a super popular and fast-growing online service,,where their team vets hundreds of thousands of books each month,and they pick the best selections from new and emerging authors,that you can spend more time reading and less time researching.,It is completely risk-free, meaning that you can skip any month,any time, and you will not be charged extra.,They have sent me the five books that they selected for this month,,which include:,”How Lucky”, a suspenseful and funny story about a young man,grappling with a physical disability while solving a mystery,unfolding right outside his door.,”Ariadne”, a debut fantasy with princesses love and betrayal.,”The Last Thing He Told Me”, a thriller about a new wife and stepmother,who unravels the mystery left behind when her husband disappears.,”Impostor Syndrome”, a character-driven thriller,about misogyny in Silicon Valley and Big Tech.,”Things We Lost to the Water”, a queer historical fiction novel,about an immigrant Vietnamese family struggling to remain connected,to each other as they settle in New Orleans.,If youre participating in Asian Readathon in May,,the last two books I mentioned would be great choices,,because theyre both by Asian authors. I personally am interested,in “Impostor Syndrome”, because it sounds like its hitting way too close to home.,Giveaway details will be in my description below,,but if you want these books guaranteed, you can use my code,READWITHCINDY to get your first book for 9.99,,as long as you live in the US.,So lets make some tacos while I taco-bout the books I read this month [laughs],This shit is fucking stupid.,First I have to prep the ingredients, which include,draining the mango, dicing tomato, halfing and peeling onion,,where I thinly slice one half, and with the other half,I mince a few slices until I have one teaspoon.,I dont know how to mince onions, so Im just gonna dice them.,I know people will be mad about this. Im so sorry, Im incompetent. ,This recipe also says to zest and quarter lime.,I dont know how to zest, I dont have a zester,,or whatever you guys were talking about in the comments,,so were gonna cut it normally, or whatever is normal for my definition. [laughs],This is already gonna turn out to be a hot mess,and I havent even prepped yet.,And lastly I am going to half, core and thinly slice poblano into strips.,Whenever I eat instant noodles, or have a cup that requires me to,peel it off, I can never do it. So what I do instead is I grab a knife,,and I just,puncture into it. And then I claw my way through the hole that I just made.,So, the reason why he have to drain the mango is because,we are making salsa. In my last cooking video,someone commented that they thought it was funny how I always try,to provide cooking instructions, as if anyones actually gonna follow my directions.,I like to hope that this video is somewhat educational.,Oh my god, why is this going on forever?,OH SHIT.,Pro tip: be very careful when youre peeling the lid off of your mango cup,because it might squirt mango juice everywhere.,Well, Ive squirted worst juice before, so its fine.,The mango is gonna be added with the diced tomatoes,and the “minced” onions.,So, the first book that I read this month was “Klara and the Sun”,by Kazuo Ishiguro. This is a literary novel,that follows the protagonist, Klara, who is known as an artificial friend.,Artificial friends or AFs are basically like androids,,and theyre commonly used for children who just need a friend,in their life. Maybe theyre weirdos or loners, or whatever.,I probably could have needed that in my childhood.,Or maybe right now, I dont know. Actually, you know what?,I am an artificial friend for you. Yeah, you,,the person watching this video right now. Watching me cook.,Pretending like were sharing a meal together,in this parasocial relationship that we have cultivated throughout this channel.,Even though Im just a stranger on the internet, but you feel like,you have a connection with me and that were friends.,Thats me. Artificial friend.,Klara is a girl thats been sold in a store with a bunch of other AFs,,and she is known more for her observational qualities,,and shes always hanging out at the front window display of the store,and observing the humans around the world, and wondering like,where they came from and noticing specific qualities about them,that many people dont notice on the surface level.,And every day she watches the behavior of every person,who browses the store, and she hopes that one day,someone will come in and choose her to be their artificial friend.,And the story begins when a girl walks in and she decides to pick her up.,They have this really special connection with each other,,even though the girls mom that picks her is kind of strict,,but thats only because the girl that chooses her has some health problems.,Its not really explained what it is. And a lot of the story is actually pretty vague,,you dont get much of the world building, or where these AFs came from,,or what they even look like, which I think makes sense,because its supposed to be a standalone novel, and its more about,like the concepts and the themes that the author is trying to portray,rather than some hard-hitting sci-fi novel.,So, this whole story is shown through the eyes of Klara,,and her childlike innocence as the world is changing around her.,As she seeks to answer this fundamental question, which is,what does it mean to love?,Thats another reason why Im like your artificial friend.,because I also dont know what it means to love.,[chopping furiously],Just quarantine vibes, you know.,Im gonna need a bigger knife.,I was super into the first half of the book.,I really liked seeing the world through the eyes of Klara,because shes just so optimistic and pure.,I also thought that the girl who decided to pick her was really cute.,It turns out she has this childhood friend, who always visits her,and they have play dates with each other.,Hes this young boy who is very precocious, and theyre constantly,bickering with each other, but you can tell that they really care about each other.,And I think its so cute, because it reminds me of like,childhood friends to lovers, and Im just like you cute little bitches,are gonna marry each other some day. I just know it.,I thought it was gonna give it at least four stars because,it started off so charming. I really liked the audio-book narrator,because she helped add to like,the whimsy and the innocence of the main character.,But, unfortunately, not much really happened.,Which is fine. This is a literary novel, I dont think that,this particular genre needs to have a bunch of wild stuff,in order for it to be good. But, I think the problem is,not much happens even from a literary perspective.,The whole theme is about her discovering love and humanity,,but I feel like we didnt actually get to see that.,So I ended up rating it three stars, because I just found it to be okay.,Because we already have so many stories, about AIs or robots, or whatever,discovering humanity and love. So, its not a new thing.,And this book didnt provide any groundbreaking observations,about human nature at all. And there werent enough,emotional stakes for me to feel like this book was special.,Like I thought the kids were cute, but nothing really happened beyond that.,I wasnt super attached to any of the characters.,So, I really wished that the stakes were higher, at least.,I learned from the comments in the last cooking video,,that whenever I chop onions, I need to put the flat side down,on the cutting board. Because all this time Ive been cutting it like this.,When it should be cut like this, because thats just easier.,Also, last time a lot of people were like