1. The Hitmans Wifes Bodyguard – Movie Review
  2. Hitmans Wifes Bodyguard – Movie Review
  3. The Hitmans Wifes Bodyguard Review (2021)
  4. The Hitmans Wifes Bodyguard reviewed by Mark Kermode
  5. The Hitmans Wifes Bodyguard REVIEW
  6. Everything Wrong With Hitmans Wifes Bodyguard In 15 Minutes Or Less

The Hitmans Wifes Bodyguard – Movie Review

the hitmans wifes bodyguard once again,stars ryan reynolds and samuel l jackson,salma hayek gets a much bigger role this,time around,and antonio banderas is here to destroy,europe,i went to the theaters tonight i dont,know what else to say,michael bryce is now an unlicensed,bodyguard and very sad about that and,when he runs into darius and sonya,kinkade once again,hes driven over the edge by their,collective insanity i thought the first,film was fine,im surprised theres a sequel but,obviously when theres success and you,have a-list stars,theres going to be more this movie is,exactly,what you would expect it to be its,another one,i dont know but like a lot of sequels,you can tell the film exists because,theyre trying to make more money,more than likely if a studio came to the,people who make these movies and said,wed like you to make another hitmans,bodyguard movie theyd just say okay,lets do it,whereas if you go to say like john,krasinski and say i want to make quiet,place three hes probably going to say,well,give me a while to see if its even,worth it because i want to see if i can,make a good movie,or a film its at least as good or,better there are sequels,and then there are sequels the hitmans,wifes bodyguard,is a sequel its just a movie where,people run around and,antonio banderas is literally trying to,upload a virus to destroy europe,but i will say there is a place for,films like this i mean i,really enjoyed going to the theater,tonight and i enjoyed,mindlessly watching a film that was,incredibly stupid,and very very lame quite often and if,youre going on a date to this movie,youll probably have a good time youll,forget about it instantaneously,when you guys go out to dinner,afterwards and it wont even,register in your brain but you at least,escaped,from the reality of the real world for,maybe 90 minutes and thats where these,movies,exist hitmans wifes bodyguard has,aspirations to do,nothing else but that and in that way,the film,is a success but in virtually every,other way its its kind of a colossal,failure the script is incredibly stupid,uh,the plot makes no sense at all its its,very difficult to follow,antonio banderas and his luscious voice,is basically just there to say random,evil things and occasionally,threaten people samuel l jackson is very,much so,on vacation and ryan reynolds is a very,likable actor and he does what he does,very well in this movie,i would say selma hayek does the most,interesting stuff actually in the film,i liked her quite a bit shes very,violent and angry she curses more than,samuel l jackson in the movie which is a,major thing to say and i would say shes,the reason to see the movie if you ever,do decide to see the movie that being,said,its very clear that in post,they either rework things around,plot-wise or they realize they didnt,address the plot enough because there is,so much,adr in the middle of action sequences,sometimes you can even tell that the,characters arent saying,what youre hearing them say just by the,way their lips move,but theres a lot of cutaways to,helicopters or car chases or motorcycles,or whatever,and youll hear them blurting out lines,that are,important plot elements like frank,grillo just,says antonio banderas is uploading the,virus right now to europe hes going to,destroy,europe and its hes not even on screen,saying that but,its just like a reminder to us things,like that happen in the movies,all the time and its not worth,mentioning because of how common it is,unless it happens like a dozen times or,more,like in this movie this movie also falls,into that trap of having characters that,are con artists but not really knowing,how to present that,in an intriguing way theyll just have,characters make insanely dramatic,shifts from scene to scene and its a,very cheap way of writing a con artist,character,you just establish them as one thing in,a scene the next scene theyre something,completely else,and theres no nuance to it you can tell,the people who made this movie had,certain priorities plot and character,probably wasnt really one of them,catering to its a-list stars that was,probably pretty high on their list,still despite its incredible stupidity,the movie has a few entertaining,sequences especially early on,establishing ryan reynolds character as,someone who no longer wants to be,involved in bodyguarding,he doesnt want to touch guns he just,wants to carry pepper spray,he doesnt want to be involved in any of,this anymore and so that creates some,tension,weve seen this done before in movies,where you have characters who are known,for kind of being a badass who are like,no im not gonna touch guns anymore,uh the rock and the rundown for instance,which side note the rundown or welcome,to the jungle as it is known in some,other places,is awesome and you should watch,it but still the movie has a pace to it,and its very watchable its almost,calculated in that,they know the story in the script can,only hold so much weight,so they have to make it so fast paced,that you dont have time to register,how inane everything is and thats,basically probably,what theyre going to do going forward,because i can tell they definitely want,to make a third one and they might,i dont know what theyll title that one,but eventually itll just be this really,long title with a bunch of apostrophes,im going to give the hitmans wifes,bodyguard a c-minus,this is probably like the most positive,spun,negative review ive ever done because i,went into the movie knowing exactly what,i was going to get and it gave it to me,i left the theater going yeah that was,what i thought it would be,never once was bothered by the movie but,i couldnt help but notice just its,kind of bad,its just kind of a bad movie but you,know,it is what it is guys thank you so much,as always for watching but i also want,to give a big thank you to the sponsor,for this video,skillshare skillshare is an online,learning community where millions come,together to take the next step in their,creative journey with thousands of,inspiring classes,for creative and curious people on,topics including illustration,design photography video freelancing and,more,skillshare classes include a combination,of video lessons and a class project,skillshare has classes to fit your,schedule and skill level,members get unlimited access to,thousands of inspiring classes,with hands-on projects and feedback from,a community of millions,most classes are under 60 minutes with,short lessons to fit any schedule,some classes i would highly recommend,are artivism create inspiring art for,change taught by nicholas smith,and portrait photography shoot and edit,instagram worthy shots taught by jessica,kobisi,the best thing about skillshare is that,youre learning from people who are out,there doing it every single day this is,very important to them,and you can tell every time you watch,their classes thats coming through,every time they try to teach you theyre,passionate and energetic about 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Hitmans Wifes Bodyguard – Movie Review

hey a new review as in like a new movie,review for a new movie,from an actual physical movie screening,in a movie theater very exciting but,before we get started i do want to thank,the sponsor of this video this video is,brought to you by,raycon raycon earbuds are those slick,stylish true wireless earbuds that,continue to disrupt the industry by,coming in at about half the price of,other premium wireless earbuds on the,market theyre slick discreet no,dangling wires or stems,perfect for if you want to ignore people,weve all been there also i maintain,great workout earbuds and summer is upon,us if youre out there camping with your,friends in the wilderness and you,realize hey,theres a lot of down time i need some,music raycon earbuds and as always they,offer six hours of play time seamless,bluetooth powering more bass and a more,compact design that gives you a nice,noise isolating fit also raycon offers,their earbuds in a range of fun colors,and patterns and 45-day free return,policy i love that buying with,confidence you know that so click the,link below go to buyreacon.com,johns to get yourself 15 off your recon,purchase and thank you once again to,reikon for sponsoring this video,i do appreciate it right now the,hitmans,wifes bodyguard,[Music],so the hitmans wifes bodyguard is the,sequel to the hitmans bodyguard a movie,that,im not gonna lie i was going into this,movie i was like,i dont remember anything about the,first movie which makes sense,recently checked and i gave it the,t-minus rating which goes to show you,when i say im gonna forget a movie,i usually do all this is to say two,things one,in order to enjoy the hitmans wifes,bodyguard you dont have to have seen,the first movie,or remember it if you did and two i,enjoyed this movie much more,than the first one first of all what i,like about this movie the cast really,works well together not just ryan,reynolds and samuel l jackson ryan,reynolds samuel l jackson and salma,hayek ryan reynolds and samuel l jackson,gonna have that love hate relationship,that you saw in the first one,i think but also salma hayek being,really crude and really crass im like,thats,that in and of itself is shocking and,she did it so well it just completely,works with casting,her specifically granted yeah ryan,reynolds is that character you think of,ryan reynolds in this movie,thats him hes this guy if you cast him,as a character in a movie,you probably know the character youre,getting that said,he crushes it as that character also,this is an action comedy that is to say,the violence is,its very bloody its very hard-hitting,and also works with the comedy to give,you some nice hits of dark comedy i,enjoy me some dark comedy what can i say,i laughed my ass off when marvin got,shot in the face and pulp fiction said,anybody who ever watched pulp fiction,ever just the dynamic and the element of,how ryan reynolds gets roped into this,whole thing,again you know you cant just die hard,to it where its like ah its just kind,of,chance i guess you cant do that anymore,this movie just leans into that,absurdity its like ah,well well make a reason and its kind,of chuckle-worthy also you have antonio,banderas being a,bond villain-esque type of villain,character i enjoyed antonio banderas,there are a couple of characters i wish,id seen them more,frank grillos in the movie he doesnt,do much i feel like frank grillo could,have been,a lot of other actors not like im like,oh thats totally frank grillo hes the,only one who could do it and im glad,happy that hes in it because,i like frank grillo i like seeing him,get work but frank grillos that guy you,know hes the badass with the gun,whether hes a hero,anti-hero or villain hes the badass one,of those three,thats kicking ass and doing [ __ ] he,doesnt really do a lot of [ __ ] in here,maybe in the sequel i dont know morgan,freeman man hes on the poster dont,look for him,that much in the movie yeah i got five,minutes of screen time,great you put me on the poster i mean,what i understand,hes god for [ __ ] sake not just in,bruce almighty but,actually in real life bruce almighty i,dont think he knew he was being filmed,still i feel like he did more than frank,grillo and as the action is very much,edited to give you those quick shots and,fast pace sometimes it feels jump,cutting especially when youre in a,vehicle youre like uh-huh,yeah were just were moving now so,there is that also as i felt the comedy,and the action worked well together,there were a couple scenes one in,particular where the comedy kind of,compromised,the drama or what could have been a good,dramatic moment i mean its an action,comedy i dont require it but when you,see the scene,i couldnt help but be like if they cut,the comedy out that could have been a,really good character moment for ryan,reynolds character i think that would,have been cool would have elevated the,movie a bit more but in the end i had a,kick-ass good time,with the hitmans wifes bodyguard i,dont know what changed between,the hitmans bodyguard and the hitmans,wifes bodyguard with me maybe this,movie is so much better than the first,one maybe theyre both on the same,wavelength and,back when the first one came out i was,just kind of on a different wavelength,and now im like oh i can just lean into,that and appreciate it more maybe its,the times were in where im like ill,ill just,please entertain me ill take it that,thats thats fine thats good enough,but in the end i felt that hitmans,wifes bodyguard is the kind of,action comedy escapism you probably want,if youre going to a movie called,the hitmans wifes bodyguard and the,movie has,this cast movie seems a bit too long in,the sense that i felt like it ended,twice but i still had a good time no,alcohol required all right so the,hitmans wifes bodyguard it doesnt,come out until next week so i dont know,if anyone cares,this week about a movie coming out next,week and i dont know if next week when,it comes out theyll care about a video,on youtube that came out last week so we,will see what happens but have you seen,it what did you think about it or whats,a sequel thats better than the first,movie for you whatever it is whatever,you think comment below let me know and,as always if you like what youve seen,here and you want to see more click,right here to see more,you

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The Hitmans Wifes Bodyguard Review (2021)

but we are definitely gonna screw this,up while the hitmans wifes bodyguard,is a sequel to a script that,wasnt based on an already existing ip,it still feels like a stretch to call it,original,this sequel does ambitiously aim to be,entirely unlike any other movie simply,by being so derivative and out now weird,that you might think its an,okay wtf watch,im officially on sabbatical and to be,honest i dont know why i didnt do this,sooner,returning to the action-packed and,familiar world of michael bryce a,one-time,aaa licensed bodyguard whose life was,turned upside down in the last movie the,hero is now struggling to deal with his,new status quo,as an unlicensed bodyguard hes in,therapy hes on sabbatical,and hes hating it but he need not worry,as sonia kincaid the wife of his old,client slash enemy,darius kinkade needs his help darius has,been kidnapped and while that seems like,a movie length mission to fill the 99,minute run time the hitmans wifes,bodyguard has,no interest in a single narrative or,even making a modicum of sense,all this sequel cares about is the high,body count outrageous sex scenes between,jackson and hayek,explosions and whether michael will get,his bodyguard license back,really as the central trio follows their,world-ending macguffin to many beautiful,locations around europe,you can see why three of hollywoods,most recognizable faces took on this,lackluster script,who doesnt want an all-expenses paid,european holiday thats the only,relatable part of the film though the,hitmans wifes bodyguard doesnt have,the heart,or ridiculous sincerity of the fast and,the furious films and also doesnt have,the action chops of a john wick,it seems most indebted to classic action,films like die hard,and the back catalogs of arnold,schwarzenegger and jean-claude van damme,but it doesnt nearly have the range,script or action set pieces to deliver,instead this feels like the kind of film,you put on netflix on a saturday and,spend most of the time going,do you just see that to anyone else,watching as the stakes,and silliness get higher and higher,samuel jackson and ryan reynolds should,be a match made an unexpected team of,heaven but while reynolds should be the,straight man to jacksons outlandish,and rather entertaining hitman he is,instead just a zany guy full of quips,who loves being a bodyguard more than,life itself,some hayak is clearly having the most,fun out of everyone but like most of the,hitmans wifes bodyguard its unclear,whether its meant to be an,snl parody of what hollywood action,films are or if this is just what the,creators think they can get away with,there are moments of absolute madness,where you wish the team had committed,fully to the bonkers balls to the wall,film they clearly wanted to make at some,point,the final act offers a few legitimate,laughs but also relies on pure nonsense,to get us there,the film is at its funniest when michael,becomes the victim to the horny hit,people hes been saddled with,a sort of weasley punching bag for their,strange sato-masochistic romance,antonio banderas also delivers some,solid ridiculousness as the arch villain,that someone in the movie describes as,if liberace [ __ ] a pair of curtains,which also sums up the level of humor,the film delivers,this reminds me of the spa back at the,hotel really,not at all theres not much to praise,here in the hitmans wifes bodyguard,the script is beyond parody the jokes,fall flat and arguably wastes some of,hollywoods biggest names but if you,want to see lots of people getting blown,up in some pretty locations while salma,hayek and samuel jackson make sweet,slash gross love while torturing ryan,reynolds,then this ones for you for more reviews,of the hottest movies,keep it here on ign

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The Hitmans Wifes Bodyguard reviewed by Mark Kermode

on the running order of the show this,comes up as the hitmans bodyguards,wife,okay its no its the hitmans wifes,bodyguard or,in some in iterations hitmans wifes,bodyguard without a there ive seen it,with other and without other,and every single time i say it i get it,get it wrong and i keep thinking it,looks like,apostrophes in there it is and its,like you know,the good the good the bad the cook the,thief his wife her husband the bodyguard,the hitman and her,whatever however you want to call it,this is a sequel that nobody really,asked for to um,to the hit mans bodyguard hence the hit,mans wifes,bodyguard um so uh ryan reynolds and,samuel l jackson in the original film so,ryan reynolds,is a is a bodyguard sam jackson is the,hit man and,ryan reynolds has to look after sam jack,so they got very different you know one,of thems crazy the other ones kind of,seat belt song kind of guy,they sort of hated each other and then,of course the movie they kind of learned,to get along now for plot sake,they have to hate each other again,begins with uh,ronald reynolds michael bryce in therapy,because something you know because hes,lost his license because he lost a,client and now,his therapist tells him that he has to,give up bodyguarding and guns,and so he decides to give up,bodyguarding and guns and then he gets,dragged back into a world of,bodyguarding and guns,by salma hayek who needs him to save her,husband,with whom shes trying to have a baby,everyone try and keep up her husband is,samuel l jackson despite the fact that,they actually were getting on a right at,the end of the last film,now theyre not is a clip what is he,doing here,i believe its pronounced thank you for,what uh for saving your life,again and again and again you said,baby get me michael brice what,no no no no no i said baby i need help,get anyone but michael bryce,what he is the most annoying excuse me,i have 20 20 hearing i can hear you the,dead guys,can hear you how many times have you,nearly got me killed,not enough come on baby lets get out of,here before he starts the in-flight,safety demonstration,and you know thats sort of the level of,it the,reason i think this is kind of uh,interesting is firstly that the film,itself is,uninteresting theres a couple of a,couple of giggles with you know,ryan reynolds doing that sort of,wisecracky thing that he does and a,couple of giggles because,jackson does that wisecracky thing that,he does but the main problem with it is,its rubbish and um i was talking before,about how,nobody dont underestimate how good,nobody is,and if you want demonstration of that,put nobody next to this,okay because on the surface you could,say theyre,similar from their films which have got,comedy and violence,and you know a slightly crazy plot in,the case of nobody its,the russians in the case of this its,the everything and theres a plan,to you know the fritz out all the,electricity and all the internet,throughout europe,and greece is involved and antonio,banderas is over here chewing the,scenery and then morgan freeman turns up,with that face that morgan freeman has,which is im getting paid fine okay ill,say whatever you want just give me the,check,and there are little cameos from some of,the people from the first film,and its all utterly perfunctory and,you know all delivered at one shrieky,level,thats not to say that there arent,moments that that shrieky level,raises a couple of giggles but it does,nothing else and when you look at,you look at the sort of the expanse of,you know money and scenery and talent on,screen you just think this is really,not delivering at all and then you put,it next to nobody,which is just got everything going for,it every line,lands every punch thumps every,you know one of the things about nobody,that is so good,is that yeah its got insane levels of,shootouts and everything but when you,get those punchy crunch up fight,sequences you can feel the kneecaps and,you can feel the elbows and you can feel,that,i didnt feel anything um for most of,the hitman and hers bodyguards would it,be improved by,costume kevin costner and whitney,houston,uh arriving and doing their thing would,that help you know,i i hadnt even thought of that gag but,now i wish i had,because yes it this would be a better,movie if it starred kevin costner,and whitney houston and was made in the,90s

The Hitmans Wifes Bodyguard REVIEW

so heres what i enjoyed the most about,this movie that genuinely put a smile on,my face,and thats the surprise that tom harper,is in this film from the umbrella,academy i couldnt believe it when he,popped up on screen i was like is that,luther oh my god im so happy for him,hes the first off of that show to get a,solid movie role like in a big movie,well a kind of big movie,uh and that would not have been my bet,that he would go first but here he is,and he does a really nice job i see more,movies in his future and in fact i,looked it up,and hes in the upcoming new resident,evil movie where im sure hell also do,a really good job now as for the rest of,this movie,i mean its pretty standard stuff,gorgeous locations,check lots of big action sequences check,product placement for cars check the,range rovers do look,very good and we dont usually see range,rover product placements,so that was entertaining and then a,bunch of movie stars,phoning it in for what i imagine is a,decent paycheck,well maybe phoning it in is unfair i,mean everyone here does,solid work a little bit better than,phoning it in but close to phoning it in,like its unfair but not off the radar,when it comes to phoning it in,i mean its just not anything we havent,seen them done before this whole movie,isnt anything that we havent seen,before i mean there are so many films,like this already many of them much,better,so its hard to get excited about one,more that doesnt add anything new to,the mix,ryan reynolds doesnt even seem to be,doing much bodyguarding this time around,so the title doesnt make a ton of sense,uh in fact in the movie instead of,calling it the hitmans wifes bodyguard,they call it the hitman,the bodyguard and the con woman well,thats how they address them,and that would have been a better title,im surprised that during the whole pr,campaign no one was like well since we,actually say that several times in the,movie,maybe that should be the title of the,film,uh i i i mean that still would have hit,man and bodyguard in the name and again,theres a lot of talk about bodyguarding,but i felt actually not that much,bodyguarding,now the thing is of course that ryan,reynolds samuel l jackson and selma,hayek are all movie stars for a reason,and theyre very entertaining even when,even when theyre this close to phoning,it in,so the movies got that going for it and,the locations really are,gorgeous im sure everyone who made this,movie had a really good time filming it,because they got to go on vacation to,italy,i wish theyd taken us instead of making,us watch this movie,but anyway are you living a life on the,go would you like to add some luxury as,well,well then you should sign up for,hellofresh americas number one,meal kit every week you get to choose,from over 27 recipes were talking,vegetarian meals,calorie smart choices craft burgers,and extra special gourmet options,you get to make beautiful quality meals,right at home,thanks to quick easy instructions which,are 28 percent,cheaper than most grocery stores and 72,percent cheaper,than eating at most restaurants tonight,you could be having szechuan beef and,green beans the candied peanuts and that,are so good you could be having,prosciutto wrapped chicken with truffle,chive mashed potatoes,also delicious or black bean and,the black bean and poblano quesadilla i,have not tried that one yet,and heres a deal for you to save even,more money,go to hellofresh.com btt 12 and use code,btc 12 for 12 free meals,including free shipping again you go to,hellofresh.com,btt 12 and use code btt 12,for 12 free meals including free,shipping,and sometimes thats what you want to do,you want to make a great dinner and,watch a movie thats watchable,like infinite thats not watchable i,tried thats why i didnt review it i,couldnt watch it,but the hitmans wifes bodyguard is,totally watchable,i just dont think its worth watching,in theaters to be honest with you and,these days with the pandemic,and so many streaming options thats a,valid question,so down the line when youre trying to,figure out what to stream,yeah id click on the hitmans wifes,bodyguard you can watch it while youre,eating your dinner,and then you could have it on the,background while you do other things,its that type of movie you know the,exact type of movie im thinking of,and while you might chuckle now down the,line you will be grateful for it,because then youll be stuck watching,infinite otherwise so those are your,choices and i would definitely go to the,hitmans wifes bodyguard which is only,in theaters but itll hit streaming,eventually,spiral uh got there like in a month in a,month,so you could be watching this sooner,rather than later,um but ryan reynolds i think needs to be,careful hes this close to being,overexposed like he was the one,when i was watching this movie where i,was like man ive seen this from you so,many times,its like dwayne johnson hes like,always on the cusp of that as well he,dwayne johnson always manages to save,himself and theyre actually in,red notice together later this year and,this movie even uses the term red notice,several times like when they would say,it id be like,hey wait ron reynolds is doing a movie,called red notice,which is really similar to this and when,i think about it,you might also just want to wait for red,notice from netflix,to come out later this year and watch,that but i still think youll be at a,jam at some point,and youll want to know youll want to,have this in your pocket to again,have all you eat dinner and then have it,in the background while you do something,else,its a chore movie you know its not a,chore to watch it,its to have on while you do chores and,again youll be grateful for it,uh also fair warning this movie is,extremely vulgar not in an offensive way,but in a you you should be careful about,how you watch it like,who else might be in the house or if,youre outside or like on a plane or,something you you know,make sure you have your headphones in or,turn the volume down or if you are going,to go see it in theaters,keep that in mind when you decide to go,who to go with i mean its extremely,vulgar very very vulgar,so thats my review of the hitmans,wifes bodyguard only in theaters but,then itll eventually go to sweet sweet,streaming,which i feel is where it belongs um,i mean they also clearly want to make,another one i dont know about that,but well see all right share your,thoughts down below subscribe today and,of course as always you can check out,some more videos,right now,[Music],you

Everything Wrong With Hitmans Wifes Bodyguard In 15 Minutes Or Less

this video is sponsored by omaze omaze,gives away super unique prizes and,experiences while donating money to,charities around the world the current,prize is a delorean dmc-12 an original,iconic delorean that has been restored,all entries for this prize benefit the,petersen automotive museum their,education programs and automotive,preservation work the peterson museum is,amazing with all kinds of movie-based,exhibits that will impress any serious,film buff and seriously folks the prize,is a freaking delorean who doesnt want,to pretend to be marty mcfly its the,ultimate collectors item even without,the flux capacitor or mr fusion to,potentially win a delorean dmc-12 and,support the peterson automotive museum,go to omaze.com,cinemasins thats omaze.com cinemasins,the link is in the video description,[Music],i know this is a dream hes explaining,it all but where are these awards being,held its just across westminster bridge,from the tower often incorrectly known,as big ben the london aquarium the,waterloo train station gales bakery,southbank wasting this fun-ass car,sequence in a throwaway dream sequence,and how often do you have this dream,just once oh well thats not a night,comedic pauses that make no sense in,real life you know what youre doing,ryan quit being a dick to your therapist,and say what you mean the first time,its a hitman wanted for like a zillion,murders around the world even took a,bullet theres position actually more,like there is position eviously on the,hitmans bodyguard i dont have,validation issues i have a licensing,issue but if youre experiencing trouble,having your license validated you kind,of have both no i am a bodyguard without,a license thats like being,a belly dancer without a torso no its,like being a belly dancer without a,license to belly dance or a cab driver,without a license to drive cabs or,michael bay without a license to blow,random to cover up a lack of plot,character development and need for basic,human decency capri like the pants,youre going with pants instead of the,delicious fruit flavored drink that,taught us all to be stabby straw,assassins are you even american bro,youve graduated therapy i see this,movie went to the what about bob school,of selfish therapists who try to ditch,their clients i keep my pen knife though,that is a swiss army knife a pocket,knife or a multi-tool knife one of the,very few things it isnt is a pen knife,i dont care if youre in england and,you call a pocket knife a pen knife this,has a corkscrew and im not having any,of your nonsense if you need a sign this,explicit you are not doing anger,correctly we now cross live as the head,of the eu mr walter fisher will announce,his decision and now that weve disposed,of the necessary exposition jump this,imaginary news announcer that weve,never seen will cease to exist in case,you confused it with athens georgia did,you know that greece,is the motherland of civilization this,villains entire motivation is based on,greeces greatest hits i mean sure the,early stuff was really good but theyve,had to replace some people and the new,stuff just isnt the same well thats,cute but since you bring it up again im,still craving the surfer cooler flavor,while fumbling to insert that tiny straw,like a drunk virgin on prom night,sitting at the beach in full length,tackies and a long-sleeve button-up,shirt if i had to guess what brand of,headphones these are that somehow block,out multiple gunshots and the noise of,chaos thats happening directly behind,him id guess theyre plot sheets by dre,i know this sounds crazy but this really,feels like a new beginning was that,record scratch in the voicemail he left,for himself or did they just add that,afterwards to annoy me this badass,entrance makes me wish all of sama,hayeks characters had been introduced,this way and im not just talking about,wild wild west i want this in fools rush,in and in freedom i dont care if it,makes sense i am gonna [ __ ] your dreams,until they wish they were your,nightmares sonia assumes this is outside,the realm of a possible fetish and i,will not let this movie get away with,that kind of kink shaming one of my,favorite things in movies is how when,characters jump from high heights they,always kick their legs a bunch as if,theyre trying to walk on air all the,way down do you think people really do,that believe it or not theyre not,walking on air so where is it that took,him from me brace boss begins a complete,uninterrupted conversation that somehow,cuts between seven different,environments and without any,explanations as to how it remain,coherent its almost like its a,distraction to keep us from thinking,about how their pursuers didnt see them,escape we have [ __ ] so hard movie,lets just pass me the amount is too,tight time the wine is sperm for my,this the director said apples are played,out so lets have the character take a,puff from a vape so the modern audience,knows hes an [ __ ] data junctions are,always encased and tanks dont have my,attempts to confirm this were,unsuccessful and im pretty sure that,im on a list now also im not going to,show all of it but the setup here is,that a diamond drill bit can be drilled,through a random point of a data,junction then a glowy blue device can be,plugged into the end of the drill bit,which will give instant access and also,the ability to use full-on electrical,explosions to incapacitate a detailed,and specific part of the power grid i,mean what this is basically how my,friend roger explained sex to me in the,third grade and about as comprehensible,the bigger the chance when you wish to,hack,the bigger the drill you will need,thinking that size matters its not the,size of the diamonds that count its the,skill of drill listen i have been in,europe for a month okay and the only,thing you people do is watch [ __ ],soccer thats your racist not one bar,carries sam adams people from boston are,annoying what expecting the word cliche,i said what i said these are the tiny,heads that are holding my cucaracha,get it she has a filthy mouth and she,keeps saying dirty words all the,hilarity sonja curses we laugh wash out,mouth rinse repeat i cant play it but,this lionel ritchies hellos on for some,time and fresh cucumbers on my eyes you,did not namaste mother bikram yoga the,hitman the bodyguard and the con woman,close enough roll the credits and lets,call it a day and i know who all three,of you heads are bobby exposes all the,reasons he doesnt trust these three,youre gonna make the buy instead right,before trusting these three,what if somebodys upstairs as per usual,ryan reynolds would be dead pooley in,its cinema sense nows a good time,to talk about the seat belt rule perhaps,nows a good time to talk about the shut,the [ __ ] up or perhaps nows a good time,to talk about the try something,different than repeating all the humor,beats from the first movie rule its,hilarious every time but the physics of,this movie has not been crazy enough to,justify bryce surviving this this,this or this also even if a car could,accelerate that fast there is no way,this guy removed the gas nozzle that,quickly you could go to jail for leaving,a dog in a hot car look i love these,three i even love them together but they,have been bantering for the past 10,minutes of the movie with absolutely,zero plot momentum in a way that makes,me think there were multiple pages of,this script that were blank with just,the words no idea for this scene but you,guys are great together so do some stuff,on them last time i saw something like,this bruce willis was drilling a hole in,an asteroid this is much more like a,pared-down version of the machine drills,from the matrix revolutions but im,willing to forgive not seeing that one,however why would anyone need to compare,the size of this drill to the height of,some random person also do packing slips,have detailed schematics on them i mean,aside from terrible movies that cant,generate story momentum in organic ways,of course this drill


a a dictator a mob boss an evil,mastermind,and you and you know and yuri,is going to take over the world and you,know that hes evil because he wears an,ascot,yeah exactly it looks like gary oldman,and bran stokers dracula,[Music],hey everyone support our patreon which,helps us to continue bringing you our,live streams,videos and podcasts while bringing you,new content such as exclusive live,streams,and animated shorts the hitmans,the white card hitting the wifes man,[Laughter],uh well let me just say this i liked it,when it was simpler man you know,thats when it was the hitmans,bodyguard and i wasnt too crazy about,that film were more than bad for any,song,what the [ __ ] oh you would think two of,my favorite people over here fight man,stop,bring it up stop why yall fighting i,love both of you,ryan reynolds and sam jackson like those,two people,i was not crazy about the movie but i,know a lot of people like that i like,the question,i know i remember i remember i was the,again i was i was the odd one,i was the [ __ ] out there but i wasnt,crazy about this movie but i didnt hate,it either,this is the movie where you have sam,jackson as pretty much just a,sociopathic hit man,he needs protection okay i guess hes a,witness or something is that what i,forgot about some of this movie but,yeah he needs he needs the he needs,protection so getting the best bodyguard,out there michael bryce,played by ryan reynolds love those two,guys,you would think that them being a movie,together that id like it a lot better,but i did not but hey,nothing against it glad people enjoyed,it and most of all,were done you know were finished with,that no no,no hollywood said we aint done until we,stop making money thats,exactly and then thats when i thought,about it like oh [ __ ],thats right he got a goddamn wife,and she looking for her shine too right,now she says [ __ ],where my movie in you know just like a,wife,just like a wife [ __ ] im running things,now,and that wife is played by sonya played,by selma hayek,again somebody else that i love so much,but hey you know what,as you as youve seen with many sequels,out there sometimes theyre better,sometimes the worse you know and,sometimes i just didnt get it until i,saw,the second movie im like oh jesus you,know just thats what i needed just more,i needed more,expansion on the story and you know when,theres also the,this movie here they say its also just,a little bit sweeter you know this,this guys got a wife now she wants to,start a family,they uh they want to settle down have a,baby,except uh one thing thats kind of,throwing everything off oh yeah theyre,crazy and somehow just like with these,movies,through you know shenanigans man,oh michael bryce who couldnt stand,these people and its like me its like,you know what,fine im through with yall i got to,deal with yall no more somehow,he gets brought right back in does it,even make any sense well lets go ahead,and take a look at this trailer for,the hitmans wifes bodyguard,then he got pulled back in lets go,jesus to protect this homicidal nut bags,wife what is he doing here chad is,saying oh [ __ ],the trailer guys back now hes,back thats weird the way he said dude,this homicidal nut job,theyll see stuff one hit man,one homicidal nut case and one wife,get together for adventuring wacky,shenanigans again,like jesus man thats when i knew i was,like all right hey you know i,never mind im not gonna say anything,too early we just acknowledge,that not only are we safe this really,feels like a newbie,this is worse places he could be,ill tell you what batman aint getting,none of that,yeah he fall right there and the dc was,coming like no,no no no no no pick him him up come on,hey joe come here right there,up up up up we dont do this with me,ill be like i need another take,another take another take,heroes do not do that damn i got the,human centipede going on right now,but you have people so for the,further adventures of sonia michael,bryce and darius kinkade,they drove they darius and sign they,they these two have driven michael crazy,michael at one time used to be the best,bodyguard out there he was waiting on,getting the best bodyguard award at the,best bodyguard awards like damn even,even samuel youre like damn they got,that [ __ ],[Laughter],yeah you ruined it for me now they drove,him to therapy,all he wants to do all he wants to do is,just go,and go somewhere and get some peace and,quiet get bodyguard off his mind because,he lost his license because they drove,him so crazy and just relax,maybe find new life find himself back,but of course these,mothers have to come back into the,picture and im going to tell you why in,a little bit,you know lets just say that you know,because of circumstances,sequel circumstances,[Laughter],which means it dont make no sense,they they get back together go on one,more invention they must work together,this time not to save darius but the,whole world,this is this is the first time ill tell,you i love samuel jackson who doesnt,sure ive watched samuel jackson for,years,i dont know why but this is the first,time that ive looked at samuel jackson,and said you know what he shouldnt say,[ __ ],oh it had never crossed your mind before,until now like wow hes,and hes really loud,i know he thats his trademark but god,damn god damn,everything every 50 every five minutes,[ __ ] the time [ __ ],my life [ __ ] am i too loud,football i said im [ __ ] i was,like,wow man oh now i get it,when people say samuel jacksons loud,im like oh yeah,i see what you say like like i said man,this this movie is so,its so loud this movie is is is in it,and theyre trying to keep up with you,know,samuel jackson sometimes in this because,hes hes one of the main loud ones in,here,poor selma hyatt you know selma hike,even at her crazy she had some,you know shes kind of sensuous she got,a little class with everything you know,she comes in,you know she kind of graces things when,she comes in here she is a,hot-tempered mexican version of samuel,jackson,yeah shes shes cranked up to 11. she,she is,she is samuel j everything was samuel,jacksons mother,shes my,she puts every emphasis in there,a little no i say a little a lot of,spanish twang on every single syllable,yes and i mean she got the,movement to go with [ __ ],every time she says you feel like i need,an umbrella,and like i said you get them together,its like theres moments where im just,kind of like man let these people get a,room let them,all day because when they are theyre,quiet every time,every time ryan reynolds walked into the,room i dont know i know,dont you feel like just just go the,other way like while theyre over there,yelling each other,or whatever just quietly walk away,and go do your thing cause if you wanna,make them theyre good you they youre,gonna make them mad,theyre gonna make you mad and were,gonna start this cycle all over again no,no,hang on what is he doing here,you said baby here we go here,here we go,hes already getting started because she,did a wind-up,you said,yeah both of them got them fingers look,at how big youre doing,oh [ __ ] when them black and brown,fingers come out its like,index fingers yeah you say you,[ __ ] you,[ __ ] its like oh [ __ ] here we,go,whyd you do this [ __ ] use me you meant,to start you meant to start some [ __ ],you got a ryan reynolds he comes in and,starts the [ __ ] and then he sits back as,michael bryce the worlds greatest hit,man,who dont know where shut the [ __ ] up,worlds greatest bodyguard im sorry,worlds greatest bodyguard,sorry excuse me so many different things,wives bodyguards and headbands around,yeah they get confused cant wait to,come out to hitmans wives bodyguards,nephews cousins,[Laughter],yeah sorry about that yall just been,saying mans wifes babysitting cousin,yeah because of keeping his dog,with his god brother yeah but,meanwhile the greatest bodyguard in the,world cant,shut the [ __ ] up and leave well enough,alone he starts things,and then he comes in and,he s

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